Emotional Eating. What are you really “hungry”for?
I am sitting on my bed, computer on my lap, eating my guilt in the form of a bowl full of blueberry cheerios. Guilty because I am trying to do some work and write, but my son is on his computer for the second hour and I know I should try to engage with him and get him out of the house. But I really, really want to work on my business . And it makes me feel like I am choosing my goals over my son’s well-being. So instead of doing either, I’m sitting here mindlessly reaching into this now empty bowl of blueberry cheerios, for the second time.
After years of disordered eating throughout my 20s, I am looking from the outside at myself and recognizing that I’m using an old coping mechanism for my current day problem. Emotional eating is a very real, strong pull, and a habit that is so hard to break because it serves us so well.
Eating is almost the perfect cure-all. Think about all of its uses!
You can eat to combat:
boredom
fatigue
stress
sadness + loneliness
guilt
You can eat to:
numb feelings
procrastinate
reward yourself
punish yourself
With all of these emotional benefits, the primary goal of food as nourishment, becomes confusing and foreign. Our ability to eat intuitively, to hone in on our physical hunger and make the best food decisions to fuel our bodies, gets lost in the psychological shuffle.
But awareness of our habits is the first step towards making change. If you’re eating out of boredom, come up with ideas that you could do instead that would be exciting or at least interesting.
If you’re eating from fatigue, give yourself permission to rest, take a nap or go to bed early.
If you’re eating from stress, what actual tasks or things can you do to help get your stress level under control and the situation feel more manageable? Do those things instead.
Ask yourself what are you really hungry for? What needs to be nourished?
It’s about making the decision to deal with the actual emotions that you are feeling. No matter how tough that may be. Some days I am able to talk myself through the steps of my feelings and walk away to do something more productive. Other days, even though I am aware that I am using food as a coping mechanism, I may choose to do it anyway. I will give myself permission. The result is that I won’t beat myself up or punish myself by eating less the next day or allowing myself to wallow in my perceived weakness. I simply get back to my usual eating at the next meal, or the next day.
I know that when I eat well, I feel strong both in my body and my mind, and that amazing feeling is what keeps me on track 80% of the time. The 20% of the time I allow myself a necessary freedom around food so that I can both enjoy and deal with the ups and downs of life.
If you want to begin the process of separating emotional eating from eating for nourishment:
The first step is to recognize that you are using food as a quick fix for whatever is going on in your life.
Ask yourself what purpose it is serving and what you could do instead. This is where the deep dive happens.
If you’d like to explore more in a half hour discovery session, reach out via email amyfinegold@gmail.com. I would love to be your accountability partner and guide on your journey towards a healthier life.
With love and health,
Amy